I've been inspired lately to really focus on my mind/muscle connection while I'm lifting.  As much as one can use their mind while in contest prep at least.  It sounds a little hinky at first, but I'll tell you, it makes a big difference.  Although I will be honest, I used to have a strong connection during my workouts prior to about a year ago.  I was always very focused while lifting, to the point where I didn't really realize what was going on around me.  But after 1) Constantly being told by my husband that I look pissed off when I'm lifting and 2) Getting to know the majority of the people at my gym, my connection kind of dipped off.  I think it really helped to see a few quotes from some very successful bodybuilders recently about the focus factor.  It really gave me the go-ahead to allow myself to get back into the mindset.  I'm not in the gym to socialize or to LOOK like I'm having a great time.  I'm there to get my job done, and trust me, I'm having a great time no matter how intense I look.  When I walk out of the workout area and into the lobby, then I will consider socializing.  I have every reason in the world to put in those earphones when I step into the gym and to not take them out until I leave.  If that's what gets me connected and gets my body working in sync with my mind, that's what I will do.  And believe me, the muscles feel the difference!  I highly recommend you trying it for the next few workouts.  Don't just move the weights, feel your muscles moving the weights.  Turn your senses inward to watch your body working.  I guarantee you a better, more productive workout!

And here we begin another week of prep.  It's amazing how quickly the weeks sprint by when you're in the thick of a contest prep.  It feels good though, every vein that shows through and every new routine move I hit.  As long as I'm there in the gym, doing what I'm supposed to do everyday, I'm loving every minute of my life.  The further I go down my road of Fitness, the more I learn that the real competition is in my everyday actions leading up to the show.  If you don't love the weights tearing your muscles apart, the stepmill of stairs that never ends, the frustrating falls to get the move right, then those brief and fleeting moments you spend on that stage will never be worth it.  If you guys can't tell by now, I'm most in my element when I'm in contest prep!

We've been having some technical issues with the website over the past few days, so pardon my absence.  You really didn't miss much, just hours of cardio, lifting lotsa weight, and busting my butt in routine practice.  I am SO EXCITED about my new routine.  Can't wait to get out there and do it! 
Christmas around here was low-key.  It kinda has to be when you're in prep.  We didn't really do gifts, just little special things here and there.  I did receive three great gifts though...first, finding my photos in the new issue of Flex Magazine (February issue).  Second, finding out my family will be at the Arnold to support me and cheer me on.  And then third, finding my photos in the new issue of Ironman Magazine (February as well).  Ok, call me a newbie, and that I am.  It's still a nice feeling to see yourself in the magazines you have been dreaming of being in for years.  More than anything though, I just found myself happy and content to spend my holiday training.  I'm so ready to rock the stage in 2010!
I hope you had a great holiday and didn't partake in too much junk food.  If you did, maybe I'll be seeing you on the stepmill?

I'm technically writing this on Christmas Eve since it's after midnight. 
I've had such a blessed, amazing year.  There is not a single thing that I can possibly want for Christmas right now.  The only thing left on my list I got on Monday (finding out I got an Arnold invite).  So all I ask is this.  That everyone reading this remembers tomorrow to stop and count your blessings, and then say a prayer thanking the One who blesses us and for which the day is truly about.  More tomorrow!

In case you are reading this and you don't know yet...I GOT AN INVITE TO THE 2010 ARNOLD!!!  Now that I got that out, you can see I'm pretty excited.  But who wouldn't be?  I am truly honored to be on the same list of competitors as women like Adela Garcia, Tracey Greenwood, Jen Hendershott, Julie Palmer, to name a few.  I really have to look around and make sure I'm not dreaming these days.  It's amazing how much a lot of ridiculously hardwork can pay off!  Tonight is a short entry, mainly because I'm exhausted and really trying to make sure I stay on a good sleep schedule, but I wanted to make sure I wrote a blog entry today so I could share the next step along the road with you guys!  Hope to see you in Columbus in March!!!

So yeah, I missed a day.  Or two.  Or three.  Ack!  Sorry!  I have been really trying to get into the mindset of contest prep.  Not that it is hard to do, but there are a lot of distractions right now that I'm not used to having.  Such as holiday parties, which are not very easy to be at when you're dieting for a show.  My advice?  Bring a meal with you so you have something to stuff your face with, and stay far far away from the buffet table.  Another room on the other side of the house is optimal.  Still, the life of a Fitness competitor is jam packed, and needs to be very structured.  Sometimes this is hard for others to understand.  One key thing I learned in prepping for Team U was to tell people "no".  And be comfortable in doing so.  It's impossible to get everything done during prep.  Balance is good, but let's be real here, it's not really possible when you are at the gym 3 hours a day and then practicing routine 2 hours a day on top of that.  Your loved ones and friends will understand.

So that is where my mind has been over the past few days.  Just really trying to wrap myself around the next level.  In martial arts, they joke about the people that train for years with one mindset - to get the blackbelt.  And then when they get to the blackbelt, they give up.  They focus so much on that one goal that they lose site of the whole picture.  Once they achieve the blackbelt, they don't want to see what is next.  They forget that there is a next.  I've heard that for some it is this way with an IFBB Pro card.  The focus and drive is getting that card, and then when the day comes, some don't know what to do next.  I think it's important to dare to dream beyond that.  Whether others believe you will hit that day or not, you need to let yourself believe that it will happen and consider what happens next.  Write it down.  Share it with your significant other.  Keep it inside.  Whatever you need to do to believe in yourself and your journey everyday.  I am loving every step I take along this path, and I love the ongoing journey.  I love knowing I have reached a new level, and I'm so excited to see what comes next!  Right now, I'm focusing on what it takes to get my mind wrapped around this level, but I'm also working on thinking of what's next and how I can prepare for that.  Always look around you, get your grounding, and then look ahead.  Always keep looking ahead.

It's a great day to be great people!  So go be great!

I'm a big fan of sleep.  I think my parents could tell you I always have been.  Some people don't need a lot, I'm not one of them.  I need a lot of sleep to function.  Most competitors will tell you they can't sleep during prep.  I'm am one of those people.  It's not a good combination to be an "I need a lot of sleep" person AND an "I can't sleep during prep" person.  Most nights I just stare at the ceiling, blinking, trying to ease myself into Dreamland.  So, this prep it started early.  As in, oh, two weeks before prep even started?  It's to the point where my fellow competitor Sandi Stuart has referred to me as "Insomnia".  I'll chalk that nickname up on the list.  So tonight I am praying that my good friend Lean Dreams, which is made by ALRI, will help me out with the situation.  It was a huge help the last few weeks of my last prep.  Please cross your fingers or pray or whatever it is you do to send positive vibes this way that I will find my sleep pattern again!

It was brought to my attention earlier today that I hadn't posted for the past two days of my 90 straight days of blogging.  Well, I did post.  It just seems I clicked "Done" and not "Done and publish" when I finished the posts.  Which lead to me assuming they were up on the site, which then lead to me clicking on the little X in the top right corner.  Not gonna make that mistake again.  Unless I am seriously carb-deprived, which hasn't happened yet thanks to my fabulous coach, Jeremy Minihan.

Things are going splendidly 4 days into my prep.  My calories are high, my cardio is low, and my body is responding like a well-tuned instrument.  My routine outfit person (Maggie Blanchard) is right on top of things, and my music guy (Tim at DJMyRoutine) is being hands-on and amazing as usual.  Can't wait to see it all come together!

So, back to some angels I have met along my journey.  Next up is Lishia Dean and Jen Hendershott.  I met Lishia first, she choreographed my first routine, and also met with me right before Jr. USA's to tweak my Kill Bill routine.  Luckily, she was working as an expeditor at the National level shows this year, so I got to see her at Jr. USA's and Jr. Nat's.  She is a great person, always ready to help and always has a smile on her face.  It was through her that I met Jen.  Jen has been incredibly supportive to me.  She is one of the most humble, down-to-earth people in this industry.  She tells it like it is and she gets the job done.  To watch her in action is awesome because she is always on the ball no matter what she is doing.  She is a big inspiration for me in the Fitness competing part of my life, but I also look up to her for the choices she has made to stay true to herself and those around her.  I am so grateful the Lishia and I got to know each other better this year and I can't wait to see her go Pro in 2010!  And I am thankful to Lishia for connecting me with Jen just when I needed.  I truly believe being asked to guest pose at Jen's show in July was the boost in confidence that I needed to get me ready to dig deep in my Team U prep and pull out all the stops.  

So, I'm off to bed now...earlier and earlier.  Gotta sleep to grow!    

Day 1 of prep is almost over.  Man!  I forgot what it feels like to hit the ground running at the end of the offseason.  Mainly because I've only had one offseason, and I spent so long prepping this past year for various shows that I can't remember the offseason that well.  It's a total shift in mindset.  Every rep counts, every minute in the gym counts, every morsel of food counts.  The smallest little thing can be the difference between hitting the goals I have set for myself, or falling short.  I feel good, ready to get the party started!  Now I just need to work on the most essential part of prepping...SLEEP!

So I just went to the Cheesecake Factory for the first time with Dan, my new friend Nichole, and her Pro Bodybuilder husband Joe.  Had a blast, although it was bittersweet knowing that my contest prep officially started at midnight. 

We all split the appetizer sampler, and then I had the Chicken and Biscuits AND the Garlic Pasta with Shrimp.  Then I threw down the Godiva Chocolate Cheesecake for desert.  And now I'm 10 minutes into my prep.  Way to leave the offseason with a bang!!!

More tomorrow when I'm not digesting.

My next contest prep formally begins on Saturday and I think it's finally settling into my head.  I'm at that point where I can't fall asleep at night because I'm going over my new routine in my mind and running through quarter turns until I'm dizzy.  And as I get ready for the prep to begin, I know it's probably looming over my husband as well.  I have heard the horror stories of marriages ending over spouses choosing to compete.  I know there's jealous husbands, or wives that don't care whether their husband competes.  There's spouses the don't even care when their partner wins a show.  I am so fortunate to have a husband that not only supports me in my career choice, he LOVES this sport.  Dan has made countless eggwhite omelettes, recorded hours worth of routine practices so I can critique myself later, spotted millions of reps, washed shaker bottles until the logos wore off, and put up with more crap than I like to remember.  But then he goes beyond that.  He watches routine videos with me to get new ideas for moves just so he can help me get the moves down later on.  He knows who's who in the industry, and he genuinly cares and wants to be involved.  He posts regularly on Siouxcountry and reads Hardbody everyday.  He really goes above and beyond everyday knowing that he probably won't get much in return from this sport other than my happiness.  So as we go around the bend into this next prep, I just wanted to give props to my man 'cause believe me ya'll, he's worth it.

Tonight was one of those gym days where you just want to leave before you even walk in the door.  After 35 minutes on the stepmill and three sets of calf raises on the hack squat (520 lbs.), I was ready to leave.  I spent about 5 minutes trying to justify to my husband why I should leave.  I formally start contest prep on Saturday, I need to get things ready for prep.  My mind isn't in it, so my workout will suffer.  I need to rest to get ready for the next 12 weeks.  And then I thought about what my competition is probably doing this evening.  And that's all it took.  I threw up the weights and had an awesome calves, chest and shoulders workout.  Nobody loves the gym everytime they step in there.  The trick is to find what makes you stay there and finish your workout until your body can't take anymore.  I like to talk to myself.  As Kai Greene told me, that's what separates the champions of bodybuilding from the rest.  The champions talk to themselves, have conversations in their heads as they lift.  Maybe Kai and I are just crazy, but it seems to work for us.
Ah, and I promised to mention a few angels that popped into my life over the past year or so.  Angel number two would be Jason, or Sioux as many of us call him, and he has to share the spotlight with Vanessa Adams.  Jason always posted over at Bodyspace about his fabulous forum, Siouxcountry.com.  It wasn't until Vanessa posted a link to her pics from a shoot with one of my favorite photographers (Brian Moss) that I decided to actually join Siouxcountry.  Since joining that site, my life has never been the same.  It seems silly that a website could have such a profound effect on one's life, but Siouxcountry seems to do that for so many female competitors.  I have learned so much from that site and made so many wonderful connections in the industry that have helped further me along this path.  Some of the greatest frienships I have ever had started through Siouxcountry.  I really cannot see that I would have come so far so quickly without having found my "second family" over at the SC, and I am forever thankful that Jason and Vanessa brought that into my life.
And now I'm off to bed to get ready for another big day.  Goodnight all!

Today I got an email from a longtime client and friend, Amy.  Amy let me know that she happened upon my website yesterday right when she needed to hear exactly what I said, and exactly what so many of us need to hear.  You deserve this life change.  Whatever it is that you have been thinking or dreaming of doing, you deserve it.  Don't ever tell yourself you are anything less than deserving. 
I'm glad that Amy let me know that what I wrote yesterday meant something to her.  So many times, people make big differences in our lives and never get to know it.  So I am going to post over the next few days about some of those people that have changed my life in hopes that they may come across it.  The first being Beki.  Beki is someone I have mentioned in the past as being a big role in me kicking off my decision to compete, although I never mentioned her by name.  I met Beki in the Raleigh airport one day on my way to Orlando for an IT tradeshow.  I overheard her telling some guys that she was a Fitness competitor.  I introduced myself and talked to her a little bit about competing.  She suggested that I join Bodyspace to meet some other competitors.  It wasn't a big momentous meeting of some lifelong Fitness hero of mine, (like the day I met Jen Hendershott, lol), but it was the conversation that set the ball rolling for me to finally do what I had dreamed so long of doing.  It just goes to show that even those little interactions we have and the way we respond to people can either totally turn them off from something or can inspire them to become something great.  You never know what effect your daily actions will have on another person.  Always carry yourself in the way that you feel best represents how you want to be reflected through others.

Sometimes people walk into your life at just the right time.  I have certainly learned that over the past year and a half!  Well, someone new just recently walked into my life, an aspiring Fitness competitor names Nichole.  Nichole found out that I am local to her, and reached out to talk Fitness competitions.  Through that, we have started training together.  Nichole reminds me a lot of myself when I was first starting out on this path.  A huge fire in her belly, ready to make her dreams come true.  Recently diagnosed and being treated for ADHD, she is now able to channel all of her ambition in one direction.  It is very common for people with ADHD to have huge desires that never go anywhere.  Instead, you try to throw yourself into 4 million different little things and never go anywhere with them.  I thank God everyday for leading me down the path to getting treatment, as does Nichole. 

Nichole reminds me what this is all about.  Shining for God, radiating from the inside out, helping to inspire others to follow their dreams.  That doesn't mean getting other people to step onstage in a shiny bikini necessarily, although I would love to help others if they choose that route.  What it means for me is to inspire other people to find their happiness.  Some are lost and don't know how to get started.  Others are lost and don't even know it.  Some don't even believe they can do it, or don't believe they deserve it.  But it's there, it's within reach, it can be done, and you do deserve it.  We all deserve true happiness. 

What I am going to be doing over the next 90 days is a daily blog.  This will be a daily insight into what I do on a daily basis to prepare for my next shows, on what I go through mentally, physically and emotionally, on where I find my inspiration, and on how I hope to inspire others.  I'll be tracking it all with photos along the way, and keeping you up to date on when my Pro debut will be and how I am getting ready for it.  Hopefully through my daily challenges and grumblings, someone out there will find that little something that pushes them to go a little harder and reach a little farther.  So here we go!